Embrace the Reset: Interviews with Survivors and Solution Finders

When I spoke to Donna Jaremenko, all I could think about was the lady I knew as our friend and neighbour who always had an incredible smile. We would often see Donna with her 6, then 7 and now 8 children and be constantly amazed at how she managed and seemed to be doing it with style. What we didn't know was that behind the front door of their life was another story, a different and less desirable life with a controlling and abusive husband.

Donna's story is one of survival and see the daily value in as reset as part of 'getting through'. Even now in the 'life after', Donna still knows that being able to reset, to make space and to give herself and her children the freedom to do it their way is actually a secret to that smile still being there.

I hope you will be inspired by meeting Donna today. This story may be happening over your neighbour's fence and its not just an issue of male abuse. This week I was stunned to hear a man being vehemently berated by his partner in a way I haven't heard before. Can I encourage you to reach out to the people around you? It's only as we come to know each other better, deeper and more openly that we can be there for DV victims who need a dramatic reset.

Around the world, there are many organisations that provide services and information that can help. I had the privilege of working with this organisation who provide support services as a starting point today.

http://www.dvconnect.org/

Grief is one of those reset moments that everyone would rather dodge, but you can't. Then tie that into a time of life that is meant to be hope-filled and wrapped with a bow of joy when parents are planning for and expecting a child (or two).

How do you grieve the loss of a child? What's it like for a husband and wife seeking to raise a family?
When they have to face the death of not one but two children? And if multiple miscarriages are involved how do you deal with the process of thinking about the future and dealing with the present?

This is an intimate interview where I get to talk to my daughter about the journey she and her husband have been through facing exactly this. I hope you'll join me to find out more about how you can reset in the midst of tragedy and some lessons we can take from how to process all of the dynamics happening around us.

This interview wasn't easy and I am so proud of how Abbey was able to bring a vulnerability to her journey, transparency of her own situation with depression and at the same time, she articulates some true and deep ideas and strategy for your consideration.

Here are links to two organisations that provide help and resources for anyone going through this valley.

http://www.babyloss.co.nz/   and    http://www.sands.org.nz/ 

Imagine dealing with a pain so intense every day and not being able to 'switch it off'. Pain killers don't help, the Doctors don't know what to do and all of this from what appeared to be a minor workplace accident as a teacher in a classroom.

Now add to that the loss of your favoured career, pressure on your family and a court battle that had you accused of faking all of this and calling the quality and integrity of your previous work into question.

This week we walk with Mark and Lois Quick and learn about CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) a condition so serious many sufferers deal with heavy amounts of pain killers, electronic pain management solutions and for one person the idea of amputation was the solution to a daily life of pain.

Mark and Lois speak with grace and sincerity within a story that would have driven most of us to the edge of sanity and grace.

For more information on CRPS visit https://www.burningnightscrps.org/

Gavin Hockly talks us through career changes that took him from growing up on a dairy farm and following in his father's footsteps, to find a life path that allowed him to work with young people in a variety of roles. While we can often see life as a series of steps, Gavin walks us through his journey as a series of layers that have built on each other to where today he has retooled, studying as a counsellor and now working with youth counselling.

Along the way he sought and achieved an economics degree and teaching qualification in his 30s and followed this with senior roles as a Deputy Principal in a country secondary school. All of these chapters in Gavin's journey have helped build a life which has brought personal reward amongst life's questions and also contributed to the lives of hundreds of young people over the years.

Listen to this Reset story to discover how Gavin worked through early life decisions about travelling overseas, studying for his chosen teaching career and dealing with a time that felt like a career crisis only to find a reset opportunity through the timely advice of one of his sons.

Lee Jackson is a leader in the entrepreneurial space. Based in Wellingborough in the UK, Lee has an agency, Angled Crown, supports other WordPress and digital marketing agencies through his Agency Trailblazer podcast and is now running the event, Agency Transformation.

Listen to Lee's own podcast and you will hear a transparent guru on the run who places family first and is keen for others to learn from his mistakes as much as his triumphs.

In this episode of Reset42, we look at how an entrepreneur can and should check for the signs that they're leaning too hard into the wind. Lee shares the personal learnings from losing a loving and hard-working Dad and how that helped him make reset changes to prioritise 'things that matter most'.

In this recording, Lee mentions one of his own Podcast episodes, number 200, where he gets raw on life and gives a series of resources for agency business owners looking to reset through new ideas. Here is a link to that recording.

https://agencytrailblazer.com/podcast/how-to-transform-your-agency/

Interviewing Gavin James, as he and his wife Shona sail from Croatia to New Zealand was a privilege to tell his story. Actually, its Gavin and Shona's story. While this episode will help us discover why someone might follow their dreams, it also deals with the reset needed when dealing with grief.

Gavin and I have something in common. Gavin has the Mark Twain quote on his website; "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than those you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbour. Catch the wind in your sails.  Explore. Dream. Discover.". And it is on the wall above my computer as I prepare this episode.

What Gavin and I don't share is the deep experience of grief that he went through when his first wife, Wendy, passed away at 35 from cancer. There are a few waves in this story and I encourage you that you may want to listen to it twice to pick up some wisdom Gavin shares from his journey.

Later you can follow Gavin and Shona's adventures on their boat, the White Arrow via their website https://www.sailabout.kiwi/

In this, the last episode of our introductory series where we have looked at six life triggers that indicate we need a reset, we are asking about why we make stupid decisions and how we can reset after them. 

Join me as we evaluate three areas that are commonly associated with us having a less than impressive day where a poor decision is made. Join us as we talk about ill-informed decisions, selfish decisions or those 50/50 calls that could go either way.

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When we have allowed us to run down or let life get cluttered we can't breathe. The energy we need to move forward on our projects comes from various inputs in our lives, and without them we can go into a stall.

Very similar to a plane who's fuel line is clogged a life without fuel or energy is a dangerous thing.

So how do we 'unclog' the fuel lines into our life so that we can reset and keep moving forward. One of the keys in the episode is understanding the value of 'space'. Join us if you feel you are running 'low' and come across to the Reset42 Facebook group if you would like to share the journey with us.

Probably more than any of the six triggers we are looking at for a reset life, Stolen is the most emotive and has a lasting effect on many.

Sometimes this trigger is the results of "life and circumstance" and other times it comes because of the intentional or incidental acts of an individual or group such as a business or organisation.

Either way, we feel the brunt of the event and while we may satisfy ourselves that it wasn't about the 'thing' that was taken there are some precious possessions, positions and people we wish weren't taken.

So how do we reset from a stolen life? Join us as we introduce this topic in preparation for some of our first interviews which also deal with this trigger subject.

We encourage you to join us in our Reset42 Facebook group as we share this journey together.

Reset42 - How to reset life

This week we consider how to deal with those moments when life needs a reset simply because we're stumped. Like a contestant on a quiz show, we think we know the answer, maybe we do know the answer but we just don't know what to do next.

What can you do when you can't see a solution to one of life's challenges?

In these early episodes of Reset42 we are looking at six triggers that may show us life needs a reset. So far we have looked at an overview of Reset42, considered what happens when our priorities have shifted and last week we asked how do we reignite plans or ideas we once put on the shelf.